Hey y'all,
It's been awhile! This semester has been insanity. Here's why. I just finished almost two weeks of grueling tests...AND I'M GETTING MARRIED IN 8 DAYS! So my already non-existent spare time has been even more sparse! Because I'm a little bit out of it from the general craziness, I thought I'd fill you in on the things med school teaches us through block week.
THINGS AT WHICH MED SCHOOL HELPS YOU BE AN EXPERT:
1. How to strategically use dry shampoo and under-eye concealer to fool people into thinking you keep up with regular hygiene.
2. The merits and drawbacks of various white noise generators. Seriously, I have three that I regularly switch between based upon my mood and level of sleepiness.
3. Managing to control the tremor and heart palpitations from ingesting massive amounts of caffeine. And when I say control, I mean being in denial that you feel like your heart may just flat stop.
4. Being a real person with no sleep. Now this may not be totally true, because I tend to binge and get like 10 hours on the days between our tests. But on test night, I'm doing good to get 3. Mostly because of the aforementioned massive caffeine ingestion which doesn't allow me to turn my brain off. But the next day, I'm at school before the sun's up, mostly out of pure terror that I'll fail.
5. The ability to sit in one spot for 12 hours. Not kidding. I think I have decubitus ulcers. Ok, I'm kidding about that.
6. Surviving on meals with no nutritional value. Here's a sample of full meals I ate this week: Couscous and grapes. Asparagus and an orange. A Mr. Goodbar. 7 Ritz crackers and some rice pudding. All of course accompanied by a Diet Coke.
THINGS FOR WHICH MED SCHOOL DOES NOT PREPARE YOU AT ALL:
1. Being a doctor.
jk.
Mostly.
Toodle-oo, y'all!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
The Fee-Fee Cascade: Or, How Med School Makes You Lose Your Mind
So here's what happened today. Well, I guess you'll need some back-story first. I have this friend Kyle. Let's call him Lyle. Lyle is an all around ridiculous boy who's in my class. We have an inside joke because last year during a block of exams he made me cry. Later when we were talking about it, he asked if he'd hurt my fee-fees. Not my feelings, y'all, my fee-fees. Those two hysterical syllables made me laugh maniacally (which had nothing to do with being in a strange mental state because of grueling hours of preparing for exams). It has since been something we jokingly say when we tease each other / other people / I say it to my cat.
Which brings me to today, when we are preparing for not one but TWO (well, 1.5) back-to-back (or back-to-ba) weeks of exams. In my normal conversation with Lyle (the cubicles we like to occupy are next to each other) at the time when he usually insults me for being a girl / not being good at school / baking things other than chocolate chip cookies, he gave me a rare compliment! Something to do with how he wouldn't look as good in my wedding dress as I will (hey, it's mostly a compliment). So here's how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: Lyle! You gave me a compliment!
Lyle: I did?
Me: You didn't hurt my fee-fees! You did the opposite. Instead of breaking my fee-fees up, you put them all together. ... You activated the fee-fee cascade!!
***MEDICAL ASIDE FOR ALL OF THE NORMAL PEOPLE WHO THINK I MAY BE CRAY:
There's a thing your body does called the coagulation cascade. Basically it causes platelets to aggregate to form a clot to stop bleeding and to begin to repair damaged blood vessels. So it's a very good thing that happens where you make a big glob of something to keep from dying of exsanguination. Thus, the parallel fee-fee cascade would put my fee-fees together, the opposite of hurting them.***
Now I'm not sure, but I don't even think this joke is that funny. It's definitely no match for the "Apple-anche" Joke of 2012. But I thought it was the most clever thing ever and Lyle thought it was pretty funny. Or at least ok. Well, he didn't insult me for making it, which I interpret as approval. I even made it into his facebook status.
So, that long and winding story was just to let you know that I'm pretty sure med school makes us delirious. I wonder what the DSM classifies that as.
If any of you want to have a laugh in the next two weeks, text me a simple math problem / ask me to name the branches of the internal carotid artery in the neck (TRICK QUESTION) / ask what the difference between a porcupine and a hedgehog is. I promise I'll flounder hilariously. But I may cry, so bring me a hanky...and a blankie while you're at it. Every building is freezing during test time!
Speaking of hilarity, you NEED to go read this blog written by the fabulous [future] PP, MD. I aspire to be as funny as this girl. You guys will love hearing about her awful dog and the loved ones she tries to diagnose.
Off to try to learn some stuff. Toodle-oo!
Which brings me to today, when we are preparing for not one but TWO (well, 1.5) back-to-back (or back-to-ba) weeks of exams. In my normal conversation with Lyle (the cubicles we like to occupy are next to each other) at the time when he usually insults me for being a girl / not being good at school / baking things other than chocolate chip cookies, he gave me a rare compliment! Something to do with how he wouldn't look as good in my wedding dress as I will (hey, it's mostly a compliment). So here's how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: Lyle! You gave me a compliment!
Lyle: I did?
Me: You didn't hurt my fee-fees! You did the opposite. Instead of breaking my fee-fees up, you put them all together. ... You activated the fee-fee cascade!!
***MEDICAL ASIDE FOR ALL OF THE NORMAL PEOPLE WHO THINK I MAY BE CRAY:
There's a thing your body does called the coagulation cascade. Basically it causes platelets to aggregate to form a clot to stop bleeding and to begin to repair damaged blood vessels. So it's a very good thing that happens where you make a big glob of something to keep from dying of exsanguination. Thus, the parallel fee-fee cascade would put my fee-fees together, the opposite of hurting them.***
Now I'm not sure, but I don't even think this joke is that funny. It's definitely no match for the "Apple-anche" Joke of 2012. But I thought it was the most clever thing ever and Lyle thought it was pretty funny. Or at least ok. Well, he didn't insult me for making it, which I interpret as approval. I even made it into his facebook status.
So, that long and winding story was just to let you know that I'm pretty sure med school makes us delirious. I wonder what the DSM classifies that as.
If any of you want to have a laugh in the next two weeks, text me a simple math problem / ask me to name the branches of the internal carotid artery in the neck (TRICK QUESTION) / ask what the difference between a porcupine and a hedgehog is. I promise I'll flounder hilariously. But I may cry, so bring me a hanky...and a blankie while you're at it. Every building is freezing during test time!
Speaking of hilarity, you NEED to go read this blog written by the fabulous [future] PP, MD. I aspire to be as funny as this girl. You guys will love hearing about her awful dog and the loved ones she tries to diagnose.
Off to try to learn some stuff. Toodle-oo!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Oh, hello again!
So, you should have known getting into reading this blog that I would be prone to taking long absences. A bunch of really funny stuff has happened since March (the ridiculousness of getting CPR certified, final exams, being awkward at a preceptorship this summer, more Junebug hijinks, starting my second year of medical school, planning a shindig of a wedding!) but I just never quite got around to telling you about it!
With all of that, I surely have been super busy. But today as I procrastinate before block tests in the next few weeks, I thought I'd come by to say hello. Also, I'm an awful perfectionist, so if I can't write it perfectly in my head, I get frustrated and don't even start. I just need you to think I'm funny, anonymous interwebs readers! If I promise more hilarity soon, will you come read my blog? What about if I promise you cookies? They can be the eating kind!
With all of that, I surely have been super busy. But today as I procrastinate before block tests in the next few weeks, I thought I'd come by to say hello. Also, I'm an awful perfectionist, so if I can't write it perfectly in my head, I get frustrated and don't even start. I just need you to think I'm funny, anonymous interwebs readers! If I promise more hilarity soon, will you come read my blog? What about if I promise you cookies? They can be the eating kind!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Post Number Two: Regarding Number Two
So according to Casey's advice, my second entry will be about...well...poop. If this isn't your cup of tea, please just ignore this and tune in next time. Oh, and don't judge me too harshly for my immaturity. Now, I know you might think, "Hey, shouldn't someone who's going to be doin' some healin' in a few years not be so immature? Why does this girl think poop is funny?!" Well, I wish I could agree with you, but the truth is, I think poop is hilarious. And I probably always will. Even when we use big words for pooping, like defecation, it cracks me up. And I think that's sort of a good thing. (Then again, the words "naked virus" in our syllabus about killed me the other day, so I might not be the most reliable source.)
We actually talk about poop a lot. From the different ways bloody stool can look (yes, there's more than one) to what seems like hundreds of different kinds of bacteria that can cause diarrhea (and which of those types of diarrhea have blood or mucous or white blood cells) to the signal that makes you have to poop. Which brings us to my all-time favorite word! (I actually have a lot of favorite words. Look out for a post in the future that's just a bunch of funny sounding words.)
TENESMUS: the word for the feeling where you have to poop.
Isn't that word amazing?! Why have I not known it my whole life? It's so hilariously descriptive.
Got a little derailed, but now we're back on track! Anywho, what was I talking about? Oh yeah! So I don't get why our culture is so weird about poop. It's normal. I believe a wise children's book once told me, "Everybody poops," and some wise graffiti in Waco echoed, "Errbody poops." But it's not ok to talk about poop. What's up with that? And it's not like we hide all of bodily functions. Embarrassingly, I find myself quite candidly announcing that I'm "going to pee," instead of the more ladylike "use the restroom," or the even more wonderful "powder my nose." But my embarrassment is only in publishing that on the internet for you to see, not so much in saying it in front of my friends. Now imagine if I announced that I was going to poop. Even if I use my fancy med school defecate word, that's just plain awk. And if even I can realize it's awk, it's really awkward.
NOTE: This blog is not about upheaving the elements of social order. I don't actually expect people to start talking about the details of their bowel movements. I just think it's funny that it's funny, even though it is a daily occurrence.
So, I guess that's all I have to say about poop. Thanks for making it this far with me. I promise next time I'll talk about a more reserved subject. I'm gonna go learn some stuff about the kidney. Appropriate, I suppose, as the word urine also kind of makes me titter.
We actually talk about poop a lot. From the different ways bloody stool can look (yes, there's more than one) to what seems like hundreds of different kinds of bacteria that can cause diarrhea (and which of those types of diarrhea have blood or mucous or white blood cells) to the signal that makes you have to poop. Which brings us to my all-time favorite word! (I actually have a lot of favorite words. Look out for a post in the future that's just a bunch of funny sounding words.)
TENESMUS: the word for the feeling where you have to poop.
Isn't that word amazing?! Why have I not known it my whole life? It's so hilariously descriptive.
Got a little derailed, but now we're back on track! Anywho, what was I talking about? Oh yeah! So I don't get why our culture is so weird about poop. It's normal. I believe a wise children's book once told me, "Everybody poops," and some wise graffiti in Waco echoed, "Errbody poops." But it's not ok to talk about poop. What's up with that? And it's not like we hide all of bodily functions. Embarrassingly, I find myself quite candidly announcing that I'm "going to pee," instead of the more ladylike "use the restroom," or the even more wonderful "powder my nose." But my embarrassment is only in publishing that on the internet for you to see, not so much in saying it in front of my friends. Now imagine if I announced that I was going to poop. Even if I use my fancy med school defecate word, that's just plain awk. And if even I can realize it's awk, it's really awkward.
NOTE: This blog is not about upheaving the elements of social order. I don't actually expect people to start talking about the details of their bowel movements. I just think it's funny that it's funny, even though it is a daily occurrence.
So, I guess that's all I have to say about poop. Thanks for making it this far with me. I promise next time I'll talk about a more reserved subject. I'm gonna go learn some stuff about the kidney. Appropriate, I suppose, as the word urine also kind of makes me titter.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Oh, Hello!
So, this is awkward. There will probably be a lot of awkward here. This is my first attempt at blogging.
I blame my friend Stephen, really. We were joking about how no one really knows what med school is like (unless you've been through it, in which case you should probably be writing this!) and decided that our lives as first years are comically tragic enough for people to read about. I hope what comes out of this is actually funny and enjoyable to read. Med school is so stinkin' hard, but there's a lot of room for laughter, even if it's at ourselves.
I don't really know what this is going to be yet. Probably a lot of big words, poop jokes (STILL FUNNY. ALWAYS FUNNY), anecdotes about how awkward I am working with real people, weird things lecturers say, whining about how much work I have to do, whining about grades, whining about how hard non-school life is, whining about my dog and my cat misbehaving and not letting me study... Just kidding on all the whining stuff. Probably. Maybe.
So, there's a lot in my life that isn't school. I have an amazing fiance, who just happens to be my best friend. He's hilarious, so you'll here more of the ridiculous stuff he says. I have a cat, Winston Cathill, who I think was actually a dignitary in a former life, and a dog, Junebug, who is the absolute worst dog ever. We're talking she could give Marley a run for his money. But I love my crazy little family and wouldn't change a thing.
I like nerdy TV, Jane Austen, knitting, and baking, so sometimes I might talk about that stuff. But I'm going to focus on the hilarity that is med school because, after all, this is....A MED SCHOOL BLOG.
I blame my friend Stephen, really. We were joking about how no one really knows what med school is like (unless you've been through it, in which case you should probably be writing this!) and decided that our lives as first years are comically tragic enough for people to read about. I hope what comes out of this is actually funny and enjoyable to read. Med school is so stinkin' hard, but there's a lot of room for laughter, even if it's at ourselves.
I don't really know what this is going to be yet. Probably a lot of big words, poop jokes (STILL FUNNY. ALWAYS FUNNY), anecdotes about how awkward I am working with real people, weird things lecturers say, whining about how much work I have to do, whining about grades, whining about how hard non-school life is, whining about my dog and my cat misbehaving and not letting me study... Just kidding on all the whining stuff. Probably. Maybe.
So, there's a lot in my life that isn't school. I have an amazing fiance, who just happens to be my best friend. He's hilarious, so you'll here more of the ridiculous stuff he says. I have a cat, Winston Cathill, who I think was actually a dignitary in a former life, and a dog, Junebug, who is the absolute worst dog ever. We're talking she could give Marley a run for his money. But I love my crazy little family and wouldn't change a thing.
I like nerdy TV, Jane Austen, knitting, and baking, so sometimes I might talk about that stuff. But I'm going to focus on the hilarity that is med school because, after all, this is....A MED SCHOOL BLOG.
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